I write this blog in honor of my most cherished Mamacita, who will be 84 years beautiful this August 2023.

I write it based on 20 years plus experience of being a homemaker-companion for the elderly. I write this for all of you who may be getting up in years, and for the beloved people in your life who are now considered to be an elder.

Lastly, I write this as a gift to my future self.

Growing old is an inevitable part of life and depending on culture, society, experiences, upbringing, and personal values, we will face these grand milestones for ourselves, and for those we encounter, in a way that reflects our own unique expression and understanding.

I have spent a lot of time with the older community over the years as a caregiver. My job was to help people live in their homes independently by assisting them with some of the things they were no longer able to do on their own, such as transportation, grocery shopping, errands, bathing, meal preparation, and housework.

Most of the people I assisted suffered with health issues, and several struggled with different stages of dementia from mild to severe. Almost all of them were lonely. Because of the nature of my job, it was easy to become close. Many of my clients became very dear to me, and I will always think of them with great fondness.

My dear friend Geri; sitting on my deck, meeting Skadi, and at the flea market! We always had fun together, and I loved her very much. I was blessed to be with her as she took her last breath. I have many sweet memories of our time together.

Despite obvious job expectations, I quickly learned there was an unwritten and highly valuable desire my elder friends all shared in common. This basic human need was their emotional quest to be recognized as someone who still maintained sovereignty over themselves, regardless of their age, condition, abilities, hearing, or cognitive challenges.

Sovereignty: meaning dominion over one’s self – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Perfection is not a requirement.

In the presence of an elder, understand they have lived a wealth of stories, filled with triumphs, heartaches, incredible loss, love, humor, grief, adventures, and countless other happenings that we can’t even imagine.

For someone to have made it to a certain age means they have encountered numerous obstacles and miracles. Their physical self has done its best to survive a multitude of seasons, and most assuredly their bodies have acquired the scars and discomfort to show for it.

Isn’t it true for most everyone, that as we grow in years, though our countenance, bodies, and ways-of-being continually transform, inside we are each the unique person we have always been. Our inner self remains the same.

It’s a crazy juxtaposition this duality of being a human.

Just because I’m old; I no longer move the same and may be slower than you like. Perhaps I’m not as focused as you wish for me to be.

Just because I’m old, I won’t always hear you, and my vision is not as clear. You may have to repeat yourself, but please do so with respect. I can’t help the way I am.

Just because I’m old, I may tell you the same story over and over again, and perhaps I’ve forgotten certain other ones you wish for me to know.

Just because I’m old, understand my heart aches with loss for people, places, and the things I can no longer do.

Just because I’m old, time for me feels different, and often the days and nights seem to all morph into one. I am familiar with what it’s like to watch my life slowly simmer.

Just because I’m old. I’m no longer as busy, and my priorities may look different than how they used to be.

Just because I’m old, I have withstood the pain of time from missing all those I have lost and know intimately the sorrow of having to say goodbye.

Just because I’m old, I will try my best to stay strong, to celebrate the joys and happy times. I still need to feel loved and accepted, just the way I am.

Just because I’m old, please be patient, and treat me with kindness. Remember to cherish my wisdom for I will not always be here.

Just because I’m old, know I have traveled many roads, and am weary from all I have endured. Realize my thoughts and memories can often feel unclear.

Just because I’m old, know I am a Sovereign Being of Light. However tattered and torn I may appear; my essence and beauty remain.

Please don’t think of me as different, just because I’m old.

Thankfully my mother is in mostly good health, although she does suffer from some serious ailments at times. She is no longer driving, mostly because the roads aren’t as easy to navigate as they once were. All of those crazy California drivers! Her mind and wit are as sharp as always, and she still has many things she enjoys such as gardening, decorating, collecting crystals and treasures, reading, and watching her kdramas. She has fallen several times, thankfully nothing too serious. I try not to scold her for climbing on stepping stools, and for being so independent that she doesn’t ask for help. I tell her it’s not scolding, just encouraging! She could use a hearing aid or two……otherwise she is doing well. We had a long talk the other day which initiated some of this writing. I was able to discuss the idea of grieving as one gets older ( I took a special class on this) so I think it helped her to understand some of her emotional challenges. My mother has always been my dearest soul mate, and I miss her all of the time. Hopefully I can go visit with her soon.

I love you my sweet mama and count every day as a blessing that you are still here.

In Timeless Peace,

Raven

Please follow and subscribe. I hope to be writing more often! Also check out my other posts & pages, especially my tarot information if you are interested in a reading.