Monthly Archives: December 2020

nature

Into The Woods

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Being the high-spirited kind of woman I am, I have a lot of energy I need to release, so it’s important I get outside as often as possible, no matter what season it is. During this year of trauma, it has become even more crucial to stay active to maintain my peace of mind. I usually walk around our lake which is pretty and very soothing, especially since I don’t have to drive, but sometimes I need to get away from it all and go where I can be totally immersed in nature.

Our lake

These past few months, my boys and I have been escaping into the woods as often as possible, but it’s been frustrating because of all the other people who have the same idea. Our last couple of adventures we’ve had to veer off the main path just to get away from everyone, and as a result we have enjoyed some new and interesting trails.

Recently, in the middle of nowhere, we came across these logs that had been cut into weight lifting equipment. It was such a strange sight and it took us a few minutes to make sense of it all. Perhaps we found the hidden gym of a Yeti.

My family and I are a bunch of night owls, and have been sleeping in later and later every morning. By the time we find ourselves out among the trees, we only have so much time to hike before it gets dark. There is always something very magical about seeing the sunset, and when you are in the middle of the winter woods it’s especially lovely.

Yesterday, to flee from hikers who were coming upon us from every direction, we found ourselves on a wonderful trail that led us over a rushing stream. The path was steep in some places, but with the help of mother nature’s stepping stones, it was easily navigated. Much of the snow had melted and the vibrant green moss peeking out through the fallen leaves was gorgeous. At one point we were surrounded by giant rocks that formed into small caves and deep crevices. I am sure there had to be a sleeping bear close by.

We had somewhat of a map on our phones, but it wasn’t clear how much further we had to travel before we ended up back on the main path. Finally we had to turn around before it got too dark. We ended up walking over 4 miles and getting to our car just in time. I felt tired, but greatly renewed from our grand adventure. I love these times with my family. My children are all young adults, and I know eventually they will be moving on one day, and it won’t be so easy just to take off into the woods. Exploring the sacredness of nature together, and the wonderful conversations we share while doing so, are memories that I will cherish forever.

spiritual

The Divine

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Spiritual quests are my salvation. My heart yearns for answers. Clarity to questions I have always asked. Feelings of separateness are what keep us from the divine. We have this incredible birthright, unattainable, simply because we choose to disbelieve the sacred. To look outwardly for something when its already ours, to struggle for peace, though its been given.

The universal laws of nature and the cosmos are written by the same infinite presence we carry within. Blessed beyond the breadth of imagination, still many choose bondage to fearful limitations. Reasoned from our narrow understanding, we forget we are offspring to the divine. I want to remember.

Like the pinpoint light of a candle, I meditate on the flame of promised brilliance. Unwavering beneath flickering doubt. Gently I feel the miracle of holy perfection melting away divide, freeing me from human uncertainties. Beautiful possibilities delight. I am a beloved child of the mystical presence within. What has always been mine since birth, I gracefully now accept.

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In Divine Peace, Raven

spiritual

The Moon And I

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When I was a young girl in the 70’s, between the ages of 7-13, my family and I would often drive two hours from San Diego to Los Angeles to visit my grandparents. The ride up was mostly dreary highway, but sometimes we would all sing songs which I greatly enjoyed. These were some of the happier moments in an otherwise difficult childhood. For the most part there wasn’t a lot of affection or joy in our home, nor was I encouraged to express myself in any way, especially emotionally. My parents did the best they could, as I am sure they endured the same. Thankfully I was able to end this painful legacy when I had my own family. Through the joy of raising my children with all the beauty and love I had missed, I was able to heal and grow from my past. This has been my greatest success.

song we used to sing, only the chorus…we didn’t know the rest!

When I think of my little self in the back seat, face pressed against the window, it feels bittersweet to remember how alone I felt, sitting there with my 3 siblings, and parents in the front. It was usually early evening when we drove home. My father would play the radio, and we would listen to all the current music, which I still love to this day. One of my favorite songs was about a pony named Wild Fire, by Michael Martin Murphy. With the opening notes, I would immediately relax into a peaceful trance, lost in wondrous dreams of riding my own magical horse. I think the part of me that is so connected with spirit and the mystical was awakened during these times.

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Staring out the window, I would see my face reflected back to me. I would gaze deeply into my eyes, fading in and out with the passing of car lights, and wonder at the connection I was feeling. It was as if I recognized my soul.

In between the music and my shadowy reflection, I would search the darkening night until I saw my loyal friend the moon. It was a ritual for me to then say softly to myself, “I see the moon, the moon sees me. God bless the moon, and God bless me.” I would watch this brilliant light in the sky for as long as I could, marveling at how close it seemed, and how devoted it was to follow me home.

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Late this afternoon, I took my familiar 3 mile neighborhood walk around the lake. Always I look forward to this time of contemplation and renewal. Usually it is spent in gratitude, and just being in the moment, but often feelings of heartache, my constant companion, will rise up in the rhythm of my footsteps for me to embrace. Sometimes what’s under the surface needs to break free. I am no stranger to loss, nor, unfortunately is anyone in this world. I think it’s part of our being human. Adrift in my growing anguish I glanced up into the sky, and there looking down at me, shining radiant over the trees, my dearest forever friend, bright and devoted, following me wherever I go. I smiled, and wiped the tears from my eyes. I remember now, I am never really alone. The Moon and I will always be.

“I see the moon, the moon sees me. God bless the moon, and God bless me.”

In Peace, Raven

Wildfire

“The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.” ― Tahereh Mafi

One of my favorite songs that we sang on our car rides

The Divine

In The Center

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Sometimes life is understood only in the being, that sacred threshold of space that lies gently between our past and future worlds. Born from the beauty of the unknown, we are all performers in an elaborate dance of mystery, our steps made intricate by the power of our choices. Unconsciously we move to the rhythm of a destiny that is uniquely ours to hear.

The fullness of our being resides in the present. To remain in the center watching, without thought, is to be the calm within the storm. Only by surrendering, to look neither left nor right, can we understand the grace of this divine connection. To worry over an unseen future, or to search the past for reasons why, is futile. In its complexity, there are no perfect answers, and ultimately these questions distract us from the moment that is before us now.

Here in the center we are complete, nothing is missing, and everything is clear. Here we can access unconditional love, and breathe in the essence of the universe that lives within our very molecules. Here in this moment we have available to us an infinity of possibilities, limited solely by the expanse of our faith. Here in the center, we are free to face both the light and the dark, knowing we are safe.

I am asking you to see beyond your current reality. In the center is the place where holiness lives. The space inside you that lights up when you catch a glimpse of something greater than your mortal understanding. It is our sanctuary of prayer and refuge, the part of ourselves that is eternal, unswayed by the surface of happenstance.

Sitting up on my ledge, high enough to touch the stars, I relax trusting I am blessed. Life is a dance and I am willing to bend and flow in the perfection of its beauty. I gaze upon an endless universe of wonder and dream myself into the next moment. Breathing in serenity, here in the center I dwell, one dance step at a time.

In Peace,

Raven

“Just remain in the center watching and then forget that you are there.”  Lao Tzu

“I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round. I really love to watch them roll. No longer riding on the merry-go-round. I just had to let it go.” John Lennon

wisdom

Intentions

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Having intentions can be a noble beginning, but unless you take the next step towards genuinely acting on them, they will remain like an acorn tucked in the back pocket of your favorite ripped jeans. What starts out as a promise between yourself and the source of your focus, could get jostled out, fall down, roll away, and wedged under some maybe later rock by the side of the road. That’s what happens when you can’t get past the thinking and planning stage.

Intentions by design, beg to be nurtured while you gently coax them along. They require guidance, and a determined nudge in the right direction to move them forward even a little bit. You can’t just bring intentions to life, and then abandon them to their own fate. They need a lot of attention, these intentions.

Once they gain momentum, it will be much easier for you to step back and let them grow naturally on their own. Eventually, even the best of ones, will go wherever they have been aimed. Depending, of course, on the wisdom of the maker, and the initial clarity from which they were born, intentions will not always arrive exactly in the way they were first imagined. Even so, results of some kind or another will definitely come about.

Intentions, like acorns, have the potential to transform into something amazing and grand. Or they may end up hidden under a rock, only to be found later and dug up for food by some lucky squirrel.

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The Divine

The Night

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I went outside before bedtime like I always do, it’s late, and the world feels quiet. The sky is clear and filled with stars. There’s a meteor shower tonight, the Geminid. I gazed up into the night for a small amount of time, and saw at least eight before I stopped counting. One was especially bright, and directly overhead. It felt so close that I actually ducked a little. I love the surprise of their sudden appearance. The trick is to be happy with just letting yourself get lost in the magnificence before you, and then whoosh, a streak goes flying by. It’s yours if you see it, a gift from the universe. I quickly say a wish-prayer for each one. I live for these moments when I witness something outside of myself that connects me to the divine. I have been on guard for much of my life, weaving to and fro, trying to stay out of the line of fire from whatever threats lurk in the unknown. I have become numb to the almost normalcy of it all. So when there is a pause, a brief interlude of time, that takes me out of my simmering unease, and into the healing light of holiness, I grab on to it quickly and store it tightly in my hand. And later, when the shadows return, when I am trying to hold back the darkness, I will suddenly remember, and unfurl my fingers to release this healing light back into the night.

love

If All I Had

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My children when they were little.

If all I had were today, I would walk with my children in a pine covered forest. I would hold them in my arms, kiss their sweet faces and express my forever love. I would say how they make every minute worthwhile, just to be in their magical presence.

If all I had were today, I would smile for my closest friends, the new and the old, I have known for so long. My dear companions who laugh with me in the sunshine, and dance in the splashing waves.

If all I had were today, I would hug my devoted family and share my happiness of being together. I would cherish their affection and love each shining star. Always a part of me, present in my heart.

If all I had were today, I would go to the river with you my Beloved, to touch you one last time. In the flowing water I would kiss you sweetly, and speak of soulful love. Until we meet again.

If all I had were today, I would forgive those who brought hard lessons, and wish them only peace. I would be grateful to angels who make my world better in a good and healthy way.

If all I had were today, I would kiss the soft forehead of my loving dog. I would rub their floppy ears and whisper praise for their endearing loyalty.

If all I had were today, I would bow before my God and be thankful for this wonderful adventure. For filling my world with Beauty, and Blessing every step.

If all I had were today, I would climb the highest mountain and sing a song to the moon. I would allow myself one last tear, and with a joyful leap,
I would spread my wings and fly.

Forever & Today

In Peace, Raven

belief

Why We Believe

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Think, think, think

To me, everything has an underlying spiritual energy, so when I write, it is always from this perspective.

Each of us, all over the world, is being pushed to evaluate our patterns of beliefs, and the ways in which we hold so tightly to them. We are being asked to examine, by the very nature of the trauma around us, whether the core values we choose to wear as an invisible cloak should continue to represent our true self.

We are influenced from a very young age to follow inherited ways of thinking that help shape us into who we are today. Unknowingly, the roots of our personal identity, and assurance of self-worth, have actually been absorbed, without conscious permission, from the people and communities around us.

Our parents, grandparents, our entire lineage, have lived through times of war, poverty, subjugation, genocide, sickness, and fear. Much of what we place credence in, has been birthed out of someone else’s story. Perhaps the ideals we consider true, that have been unconsciously passed on from those around us, are more indicative of their own histories of suffering and fragility, even as they have been made ours in the present.

Consequently, these beliefs affect our perspectives on a personal level, as well as how we present ourselves outwardly to the world. They influence whether we trust we are worthy of living a life that is filled with unconditional love, abundance, goodness, health, and security, and whether we trust others deserve the same. These silent belief systems subconsciously shape everything we do, and the whys and ways in which we do them.

In this sense, I am speaking of identity that goes beyond gender, religion, politics, and culture. We must ask ourselves and each other: Are we willing to become more authentic versions of ourselves. What kind of world awaits us on the other side of this pandemic. What behaviors and thoughts will we continue to claim as our own, and what are we willing to leave behind.

To come through this crisis is only a gift if we honor it as such. We can’t possibly be the same people we were when this began. There has been enormous loss, both collectively and individually. Even our faith in humanity has been damaged. In my prior post, I asked you to tell me who you are deep inside, the real you. Maybe it’s time to release old habits and tired ways of thinking, to lessen the ways by which we struggle. Maybe we can shift our priorities and invest in new possibilities for positive change, to consciously choose what is more in alignment with our soul purpose, and create a world that does not fight against itself.

We deserve lives that fulfill us in a way that provides healing for us as individuals, benefits the good of humanity, and contributes to the wellness of our earth.

In Peace, Raven

self awareness

Tell Me

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Tell me who you are, when no one is around. Tell me what you see, when you look into your eyes. Can you describe what’s in your heart, and why you’re even here. When it’s you, and only you, unveiled, without your mask. Do you think yourself beautiful, and worthy to be loved. Do you even know, what it is that makes you whole. Tell me your life story, the one you stand behind. Do you think you are important, are you living in your truth. Tell me what hurts the most, when things go very wrong. When it’s dark and you’re alone, does it make you want to cry. Are you happy with your choices, are you where you want to be. Tell me all the songs, that serenade your soul. Tell me why you wake at night, and how you’re scared to lose. Tell me what you love the most, what brings you peace of mind. Do you know your purpose, your reason to stand strong. Are you excited to be here, do you follow your own path. Tell me what you value most, when all is stripped away. Tell me why you matter, and do you like yourself. Tell me if there’s more to you, than what you have revealed.

In Peace, Raven

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acceptance, humanity

One By One

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Years ago I had another blog and it was quite popular. I hadn’t formally written anything before, other than forced homework back in high school, and the notes we used to sneak during class, so I didn’t even know I could write. I was trying to persuade my then-teenage son how wonderful it would be if he started a blog. In the investigation of how they worked, I convinced myself. I wrote on and off for several tumultuous years, and it was very healing for me.

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One day I discovered my audience had expanded from my small community here in the U.S. to several countries around the world, Singapore, Venezuela, Russia, Denmark, to name a few. How extraordinary to realize I was able to connect spiritually with someone from so far away, possibly even make a difference in how they greeted their day, or night. As citizens of the Universe, we circle around our own small territory, not really paying attention to anyone beyond our circumference. I think about the concept of strangers, unfamiliar and unknown, and I wonder how true that really is. We all need the same things to survive: food, water, shelter, fire. We have many of the same basic fears, hopes, and desires. Then why does it feel like someone on the other side of the world is so vastly different from *us*?  Cultures, traditions, politics, religious beliefs, are outward manifestations, but inside we are first and foremost citizens of the earth. The link that binds us is our ability to love.

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Somewhere as I write this, a father is gently smoothing the brow of his sleeping child, a youth is pondering their future, a mother prepares for a day of caring for her family, an elder dreams of times gone by. The world encompasses many diversities, with a multitude of stories being played out, but there is nothing emotionally new under the sun, we are the same somewhere. It’s difficult to grasp the sheer number of beings sharing our planet. Imagine, people with family and friends trying to survive, to be at peace, just like you and me. Seeing them as a complete stranger no longer makes sense. I think we can bridge this great divide by expanding our acceptance for others while still valuing the uniqueness of each individual. To open our mind to similarities within the universal consciousness. We are in this together.

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Reaching out by our actions, words, or even our spirituality, through prayers, song, or verse. This is an amazing gift we take for granted. I for one, believe in the power of intention. Somehow by widening our understanding of others, even if it’s just mentally first, whether for people up the street or across the sea, we can cause a ripple effect. Perhaps by focusing on our common humanity and the beauty that binds us, we can awaken to a new way of connecting, and the idea of a stranger will just be someone we have yet to meet.

 One by One

Thought by Thought

Prayer by Prayer,

Love can change the World.

In Peace, Raven