June | 2023 | ravenwolfsong

I write this blog in honor of my most cherished Mamacita, who will be 84 years beautiful this August 2023.

I write it based on 20 years plus experience of being a homemaker-companion for the elderly. I write this for all of you who may be getting up in years, and for the beloved people in your life who are now considered to be an elder.

Lastly, I write this as a gift to my future self.

Growing old is an inevitable part of life and depending on culture, society, experiences, upbringing, and personal values, we will face these grand milestones for ourselves, and for those we encounter, in a way that reflects our own unique expression and understanding.

I have spent a lot of time with the older community over the years as a caregiver. My job was to help people live in their homes independently by assisting them with some of the things they were no longer able to do on their own, such as transportation, grocery shopping, errands, bathing, meal preparation, and housework.

Most of the people I assisted suffered with health issues, and several struggled with different stages of dementia from mild to severe. Almost all of them were lonely. Because of the nature of my job, it was easy to become close. Many of my clients became very dear to me, and I will always think of them with great fondness.

My dear friend Geri; sitting on my deck, meeting Skadi, and at the flea market! We always had fun together, and I loved her very much. I was blessed to be with her as she took her last breath. I have many sweet memories of our time together.

My mama, not too long ago when she was still driving.

Despite obvious job expectations, I quickly learned there was an unwritten and highly valuable desire my elder friends all shared in common. This basic human need was their emotional quest to be recognized as someone who still maintained sovereignty over themselves, regardless of their age, condition, abilities, hearing, or cognitive challenges.

Sovereignty: meaning dominion over one’s self – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Perfection is not a requirement.

In the presence of an elder, understand they have lived a wealth of stories, filled with triumphs, heartaches, incredible loss, love, humor, grief, adventures, and countless other happenings that we can’t even imagine.

My mother’s older sister Yolanda, who departed our world in her 30’s, I know she misses her every day.

For someone to have made it to a certain age means they have encountered numerous obstacles and miracles. Their physical self has done its best to survive a multitude of seasons, and most assuredly their bodies have acquired the scars and discomfort to show for it.

My mother’s parents, Frances & Luis, my dear Nana and Tata

Isn’t it true for most everyone, that as we grow in years, though our countenance, bodies, and ways-of-being continually transform, inside we are each the unique person we have always been. Our inner self remains the same.

It’s a crazy juxtaposition this duality of being a human.

My mother and her first love Jessie. They reconnected as elders; their relationship was very special. He departed our world several years ago, and I know she misses him often.

Just because I’m old; I no longer move the same and may be slower than you like. Perhaps I’m not as focused as you wish for me to be.

Just because I’m old, I won’t always hear you, and my vision is not as clear. You may have to repeat yourself, but please do so with respect. I can’t help the way I am.

Just because I’m old, I may tell you the same story over and over again, and perhaps I’ve forgotten certain other ones you wish for me to know.

Just because I’m old, understand my heart aches with loss for people, places, and the things I can no longer do.

Just because I’m old, time for me feels different, and often the days and nights seem to all morph into one. I am familiar with what it’s like to watch my life slowly simmer.

Just because I’m old. I’m no longer as busy, and my priorities may look different than how they used to be.

Just because I’m old, I have withstood the pain of time from missing all those I have lost and know intimately the sorrow of having to say goodbye.

Just because I’m old, I will try my best to stay strong, to celebrate the joys and happy times. I still need to feel loved and accepted, just the way I am.

Just because I’m old, please be patient, and treat me with kindness. Remember to cherish my wisdom for I will not always be here.

Just because I’m old, know I have traveled many roads, and am weary from all I have endured. Realize my thoughts and memories can often feel unclear.

Just because I’m old, know I am a Sovereign Being of Light. However tattered and torn I may appear; my essence and beauty remain.

Please don’t think of me as different, just because I’m old.

I saw this photo at a record shop, I don’t know who she is, but I love her vibe!

Thankfully my mother is in mostly good health, although she does suffer from some serious ailments at times. She is no longer driving, mostly because the roads aren’t as easy to navigate as they once were. All of those crazy California drivers! Her mind and wit are as sharp as always, and she still has many things she enjoys such as gardening, decorating, collecting crystals and treasures, reading, and watching her kdramas. She has fallen several times, thankfully nothing too serious. I try not to scold her for climbing on stepping stools, and for being so independent that she doesn’t ask for help. I tell her it’s not scolding, just encouraging! She could use a hearing aid or two……otherwise she is doing well. We had a long talk the other day which initiated some of this writing. I was able to discuss the idea of grieving as one gets older ( I took a special class on this) so I think it helped her to understand some of her emotional challenges. My mother has always been my dearest soul mate, and I miss her all of the time. Hopefully I can go visit with her soon.

I love you my sweet mama and count every day as a blessing that you are still here.

In Timeless Peace,

Raven

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I like to go outside at night before I drift off to sleep. I cherish the ritual of releasing the happenings of my day by looking out into the vast sky. It helps me to keep things in perspective, and also reminds me of the miracle of our existence.

It’s usually pretty late when I finally step outside, which makes it extra quiet, and in the darkness, nothing remains the same.

Last night, the moon was gentle bright – – low behind the trees.

I know every inch of my yard since I have lived here for over 30 years.

First, there is a well-worn path, made from the running back and forth of our beloved dogs beginning from before my babies were even born. Their names were Wolfie, then Nico, Timber and Aragon, and now our sweet Skadi.

Over the years my children and I naturally followed in the same hollow furrow which led from our front door… all the way around the deck…and into the back.

As we grew older the path became dirt – – smoothed by our footsteps. Often, I traverse it in the dark, each little divot memorized, the earth welcoming under my feet.

In one corner of our yard stands a Curly Willow tree. There is a large open area between her low hanging branches that seems to beckon me in for a hug, and so I cooperate, my back against her trunk.

I rest, leaning into her comforting strength, and look up through her branches.

My son Kai and I created a Woodland Zen Garden in the shady emptiness of our yard this Spring. It’s a work in progress but we have transformed a huge area into a retreat of beauty and peace.

Skadi keeping us company, she loves to lay in the fresh dirt

We have placed steppingstones and several large white rocks around its wandering borders. This helps me to see their glow at night as the moon shines upon them like beacons of light so I don’t stumble.

In the darkness I meander, my steps careful and silent. Sometimes I hear the Owls call to each other from across the trees. The wildlife around our lake serenades me as I place each foot mindfully.

There have been a few times where the inky blackness and a sudden strange noise send me scurrying back into the house. My imagination summoning up every scary story I’ve ever heard. More often though, I’m able to remain calm, safe in my familiarity.

Each season has its challenges, especially winter when I’m forced to limit how far I go into the darkness. The weather, the cycles of the moon, and the brightness of the stars, all influence my time spent outdoors.

I learn a lot from my escapades.

The circle of life continues, with or without us. The coming of night is an inevitable truth, and sometimes it happens before we are ready to let go of our day.

We can’t always see clearly what is right there before us, and even in the expected surroundings we may not always know what lies ahead.

It’s a fine balance to breathe in the uncertainty while embracing the comfort of the same.

The rocks, trees, and animal kingdom are our steadfast companions.

Flowers still bloom – – even in the darkness.

In Midnight Zen Peace,

Raven

Please follow and subscribe. I hope to be writing more often! Also, check out my other posts & pages, especially my tarot information if you are interested in receiving a reading.

Inspirational Wisdom from a Free-Spirited Soul