Category Archives: solitude

Picking Up Sticks

One of my favorite things to do is to go out in my backyard and pick up the small twigs and branches that fall from the canopy of trees surrounding my home. There is something very calming about the rhythmic movement of wandering barefoot through the messy grass – – -bending, grasping, collecting in my hands – – – each sacred stick.

Much of my life is spent reflecting on the experiences and connections I have created, and the spiritual lessons that I gain from each one. Often, I will try to step out of myself and become an observer so that my perspective is less reactive and personal. In this space of in-between, I am able to connect with the true knowing of who I am, a Soul Being of Light, who is very grateful to enjoy the physicalness of this earthly world.

In this way I am able to understand the steps that I need to take in order to continue my life of Walking in Beauty. If I choose to become unaware of the ways in which I am becoming, inevitably, I will be diverted from all that I want to be.

This is my belief, and I try to be mindful.

The rest of my consciousness is mostly tied up in planning the daily actions necessary for me to care and provide for my family. With all of this high-powered awareness, sometimes I crave the absolute nothingness of just being.

This is why picking up sticks is so quieting for me. There’s something freeing about inhabiting my body fully, with my senses completely engaged, and my mind drifting with the clouds in the sky. I find this time soothing to my nervous system while also being gently pleasurable.

The touch of the ground on the soles of my feet, the songs of life from the birds fluttering overhead. A grasshopper makes itself known in the tall grass, and a butterfly sips from a bright flower.

A little toad hops out from the garden clover hidden from my eyes until suddenly, here we are together, sharing in this sacred moment of just being.

My Dear friend, Little Toad
Home of Little Toad

I have been practicing the art of stick removal for many years. As you can see, I have accumulated a lovely stack of offerings that I have placed next to our outdoor fire ring. It’s an ongoing artistic collection that shifts and changes with every season.

I have no intention of creating a yard of perfection as I prefer the natural beauty of untethered nature. My main goal is to create a safe space for our beloved dog Skadi so that she can run from end to end on her daily barking patrols, and to also create a peaceful woodland-lake vibe.

Picking up sticks is the least I can do for my beautiful sanctuary.

The bigger branches are carefully added to the archway of my garden.

Everyone needs a magic portal to get from here to there, and then back again.

Each of these branches come from one of the guardian trees around us, thus making my garden archway more than just what it appears.

Sometimes, especially at night, I will stand directly underneath the highest point of the arc so that I am neither here nor there, but somewhere in between. I gaze quietly out into the nothingness around me, and smile.

As a Soul Being of Light – Picker Upper of Sticks – this is one of my favorite places to be.

Thank you for reading my blog. I would love to know how you find tranquility in nature, please share if you are so inclined.

In Peaceful Mindfulness, Raven

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I’m Not Hiding, Just Thinking

Throughout my life I have been forced outside of my comfort zone to survive. As a young adult I became a waitress, which for someone who is shy can be extremely difficult. Eventually this helped my confidence grow, but inside I remained the same awkward, self conscious young girl I always was. As I grew older, married, became a stay at home mother, and then divorced, I suddenly had to put myself out in the work force to take care of my family. I dislike greatly being told what to do, and even worse when to do it, so I decided to create a life where I was in charge, where I had to speak my mind to make things happen. To live my dreams out loud. I have been an entrepreneur ever since, which has been quite an adventure.

From running my own Children’s Enrichment Program, being an organizer, an interior re-designer, companion for the elderly, traveling farm teacher, to a Reiki Tarot card reader, both in person, special events, and then finally at the Renaissance Faire for 7 weeks last fall.

Needless to say it took a lot out of me to get this far. Now, because of the pandemic, everything has been temporarily shut down, or revised somehow, such as reading tarot cards online. I suddenly became stripped of all I had created, and have been a bit lost ever since.

Being home for the last 8 months has totally removed all the armor I had developed over the years, and now, with a mixture of great pleasure and a dose of anxiety, am hiding away as a hermit. Unfortunately I need to leave my sheltered place soon, as my mortgage and other bills aren’t going to pay themselves. Being unemployed is difficult. How my financial situation has been able to keep my family secure for this long is an absolute miracle. Despite the monetary stress, I love my cozy home, my daily walks around the lake, long hikes, hanging with my kids and my dog, reading romance books, tending my yard, making friends with the crows and squirrels, staying up late, and then starting all over again the next day. Because I have struggled with anxiety my entire life, this time has been a wonderful opportunity for me to heal from being in a constant state of flight or fight. I never realized how much I was ruled by my daily quest to find inner peace. Other than my responsibility to take care of my family, I have had zero obligations. This sabbatical of nothingness has been a much needed relief.

My inner shy girl loves this rambling, creative, peaceful lifestyle of being a pandemic hermit, which is why I am now investing my new dreams into creating this blog. Hopefully it’s going to give me the best of both worlds, so when everything is finally safe again I will have the freedom to be and do what makes me happy. It’s not that much longer when I will be entering my 60’s, and will need something less tiring, and less out there. I have no intention of going backwards and removing myself from everybody. I just want more control over choosing when I want to be my outgoing, friendly self, and when I want to quietly meander about my cave. Being a professional hermit who writes blogs about the outside world, sounds just like my cup of tea.

*In no way am I ignoring the trauma and suffering in our world, I am merely sharing what has kept me personally from being swallowed by despair. I pray constantly for humanity.*