I love to walk everyday and say hello to the beautiful world of nature around me. Each night I go outside to look for stars and whisper my dreams to the universe. I choose to follow the path of beauty as a way to heal and strengthen my faith.
I went outside before bedtime like I always do, it’s late, and the world feels quiet. The sky is clear and filled with stars. There’s a meteor shower tonight, the Geminid. I gazed up into the night for a small amount of time, and saw at least eight before I stopped counting. One was especially bright, and directly overhead. It felt so close that I actually ducked a little. I love the surprise of their sudden appearance. The trick is to be happy with just letting yourself get lost in the magnificence before you, and then whoosh, a streak goes flying by. It’s yours if you see it, a gift from the universe. I quickly say a wish-prayer for each one. I live for these moments when I witness something outside of myself that connects me to the divine. I have been on guard for much of my life, weaving to and fro, trying to stay out of the line of fire from whatever threats lurk in the unknown. I have become numb to the almost normalcy of it all. So when there is a pause, a brief interlude of time, that takes me out of my simmering unease, and into the healing light of holiness, I grab on to it quickly and store it tightly in my hand. And later, when the shadows return, when I am trying to hold back the darkness, I will suddenly remember, and unfurl my fingers to release this healing light back into the night.
If all I had were today, I would walk with my children in a pine covered forest. I would hold them in my arms, kiss their sweet faces and express my forever love. I would say how they make every minute worthwhile, just to be in their magical presence.
If all I had were today, I would smile for my closest friends, the new and the old, I have known for so long. My dear companions who laugh with me in the sunshine, and dance in the splashing waves.
If all I had were today, I would hug my devoted family and share my happiness of being together. I would cherish their affection and love each shining star. Always a part of me, present in my heart.
If all I had were today, I would go to the river with you my Beloved, to touch you one last time. In the flowing water I would kiss you sweetly, and speak of soulful love. Until we meet again.
If all I had were today, I would forgive those who brought hard lessons, and wish them only peace. I would be grateful to angels who make my world better in a good and healthy way.
If all I had were today, I would kiss the soft forehead of my loving dog. I would rub their floppy ears and whisper praise for their endearing loyalty.
If all I had were today, I would bow before my God and be thankful for this wonderful adventure. For filling my world with Beauty, and Blessing every step.
If all I had were today, I would climb the highest mountain and sing a song to the moon. I would allow myself one last tear, and with a joyful leap, I would spread my wings and fly.
To me, everything has an underlying spiritual energy, so when I write, it is always from this perspective.
Each of us, all over the world, is being pushed to evaluate our patterns of beliefs, and the ways in which we hold so tightly to them. We are being asked to examine, by the very nature of the trauma around us, whether the core values we choose to wear as an invisible cloak should continue to represent our true self.
We are influenced from a very young age to follow inherited ways of thinking that help shape us into who we are today. Unknowingly, the roots of our personal identity, and assurance of self-worth, have actually been absorbed, without conscious permission, from the people and communities around us.
Our parents, grandparents, our entire lineage, have lived through times of war, poverty, subjugation, genocide, sickness, and fear. Much of what we place credence in, has been birthed out of someone else’s story. Perhaps the ideals we consider true, that have been unconsciously passed on from those around us, are more indicative of their own histories of suffering and fragility, even as they have been made ours in the present.
Consequently, these beliefs affect our perspectives on a personal level, as well as how we present ourselves outwardly to the world. They influence whether we trust we are worthy of living a life that is filled with unconditional love, abundance, goodness, health, and security, and whether we trust others deserve the same. These silent belief systems subconsciously shape everything we do, and the whys and ways in which we do them.
In this sense, I am speaking of identity that goes beyond gender, religion, politics, and culture. We must ask ourselves and each other: Are we willing to become more authentic versions of ourselves. What kind of world awaits us on the other side of this pandemic. What behaviors and thoughts will we continue to claim as our own, and what are we willing to leave behind.
To come through this crisis is only a gift if we honor it as such. We can’t possibly be the same people we were when this began. There has been enormous loss, both collectively and individually. Even our faith in humanity has been damaged. In my prior post, I asked you to tell me who you are deep inside, the real you. Maybe it’s time to release old habits and tired ways of thinking, to lessen the ways by which we struggle. Maybe we can shift our priorities and invest in new possibilities for positive change, to consciously choose what is more in alignment with our soul purpose, and create a world that does not fight against itself.
We deserve lives that fulfill us in a way that provides healing for us as individuals, benefits the good of humanity, and contributes to the wellness of our earth.
Tell me who you are, when no one is around. Tell me what you see, when you look into your eyes. Can you describe what’s in your heart, and why you’re even here. When it’s you, and only you, unveiled, without your mask. Do you think yourself beautiful, and worthy to be loved. Do you even know, what it is that makes you whole. Tell me your life story, the one you stand behind. Do you think you are important, are you living in your truth. Tell me what hurts the most, when things go very wrong. When it’s dark and you’re alone, does it make you want to cry. Are you happy with your choices, are you where you want to be. Tell me all the songs, that serenade your soul. Tell me why you wake at night, and how you’re scared to lose. Tell me what you love the most, what brings you peace of mind. Do you know your purpose, your reason to stand strong. Are you excited to be here, do you follow your own path. Tell me what you value most, when all is stripped away. Tell me why you matter, and do you like yourself. Tell me if there’s more to you, than what you have revealed.
Years ago I had another blog and it was quite popular. I hadn’t formally written anything before, other than forced homework back in high school, and the notes we used to sneak during class, so I didn’t even know I could write. I was trying to persuade my then-teenage son how wonderful it would be if he started a blog. In the investigation of how they worked, I convinced myself. I wrote on and off for several tumultuous years, and it was very healing for me.
One day I discovered my audience had expanded from my small community here in the U.S. to several countries around the world, Singapore, Venezuela, Russia, Denmark, to name a few. How extraordinary to realize I was able to connect spiritually with someone from so far away, possibly even make a difference in how they greeted their day, or night. As citizens of the Universe, we circle around our own small territory, not really paying attention to anyone beyond our circumference. I think about the concept of strangers, unfamiliar and unknown, and I wonder how true that really is. We all need the same things to survive: food, water, shelter, fire. We have many of the same basic fears, hopes, and desires. Then why does it feel like someone on the other side of the world is so vastly different from *us*? Cultures, traditions, politics, religious beliefs, are outward manifestations, but inside we are first and foremost citizens of the earth. The link that binds us is our ability to love.
Somewhere as I write this, a father is gently smoothing the brow of his sleeping child, a youth is pondering their future, a mother prepares for a day of caring for her family, an elder dreams of times gone by. The world encompasses many diversities, with a multitude of stories being played out, but there is nothing emotionally new under the sun, we are the same somewhere. It’s difficult to grasp the sheer number of beings sharing our planet. Imagine, people with family and friends trying to survive, to be at peace, just like you and me. Seeing them as a complete stranger no longer makes sense. I think we can bridge this great divide by expanding our acceptance for others while still valuing the uniqueness of each individual. To open our mind to similarities within the universal consciousness. We are in this together.
Reaching out by our actions, words, or even our spirituality, through prayers, song, or verse. This is an amazing gift we take for granted. I for one, believe in the power of intention. Somehow by widening our understanding of others, even if it’s just mentally first, whether for people up the street or across the sea, we can cause a ripple effect. Perhaps by focusing on our common humanity and the beauty that binds us, we can awaken to a new way of connecting, and the idea of a stranger will just be someone we have yet to meet.
Throughout my life I have been forced outside of my comfort zone to survive. As a young adult I became a waitress, which for someone who is shy can be extremely difficult. Eventually this helped my confidence grow, but inside I remained the same awkward, self conscious young girl I always was. As I grew older, married, became a stay at home mother, and then divorced, I suddenly had to put myself out in the work force to take care of my family. I dislike greatly being told what to do, and even worse when to do it, so I decided to create a life where I was in charge, where I had to speak my mind to make things happen. To live my dreams out loud. I have been an entrepreneur ever since, which has been quite an adventure.
From running my own Children’s Enrichment Program, being an organizer, an interior re-designer, companion for the elderly, traveling farm teacher, to a Reiki Tarot card reader, both in person, special events, and then finally at the Renaissance Faire for 7 weeks last fall.
Needless to say it took a lot out of me to get this far. Now, because of the pandemic, everything has been temporarily shut down, or revised somehow, such as reading tarot cards online. I suddenly became stripped of all I had created, and have been a bit lost ever since.
Being home for the last 8 months has totally removed all the armor I had developed over the years, and now, with a mixture of great pleasure and a dose of anxiety, am hiding away as a hermit. Unfortunately I need to leave my sheltered place soon, as my mortgage and other bills aren’t going to pay themselves. Being unemployed is difficult. How my financial situation has been able to keep my family secure for this long is an absolute miracle. Despite the monetary stress, I love my cozy home, my daily walks around the lake, long hikes, hanging with my kids and my dog, reading romance books, tending my yard, making friends with the crows and squirrels, staying up late, and then starting all over again the next day. Because I have struggled with anxiety my entire life, this time has been a wonderful opportunity for me to heal from being in a constant state of flight or fight. I never realized how much I was ruled by my daily quest to find inner peace. Other than my responsibility to take care of my family, I have had zero obligations. This sabbatical of nothingness has been a much needed relief.
My inner shy girl loves this rambling, creative, peaceful lifestyle of being a pandemic hermit, which is why I am now investing my new dreams into creating this blog. Hopefully it’s going to give me the best of both worlds, so when everything is finally safe again I will have the freedom to be and do what makes me happy. It’s not that much longer when I will be entering my 60’s, and will need something less tiring, and less out there. I have no intention of going backwards and removing myself from everybody. I just want more control over choosing when I want to be my outgoing, friendly self, and when I want to quietly meander about my cave. Being a professional hermit who writes blogs about the outside world, sounds just like my cup of tea.
*In no way am I ignoring the trauma and suffering in our world, I am merely sharing what has kept me personally from being swallowed by despair. I pray constantly for humanity.*
How amazing to contemplate the intricate Beauty of the Universe. Our lives surrounded by everyday miracles we often take for granted. From the fragrant essence of a flower, to the perfect synchronicity of body and mind, breathing in and out, together, seemingly without effort. Lost in a world of struggle, we see from eyes limited by shadows. Judging situations by an endless litany of words; right, wrong, good, bad. Hoping to evade what lies before us without accepting what truly is. Gazing outwardly, denying responsibility for these life lessons. No one desires suffering, yet somehow it comes despite concerted efforts to hide. Leaning into jagged edges, centered without judgement. Choosing not to run, may be our only saving grace. Unknown to us the reasons of how or why. The masterpiece of our journey not to be seen in its entirety. We must trust there is beauty with every stroke of life’s brush. For surely the Spirit so efficiently guiding the Universe, is also the same energy from which we are born. Making our lives as miraculous as the most perfect flower.
Once upon a future time on a spinning planet called Earth, lives a seemingly infinite civilization of people, in all colors shapes and size. Each born with a shimmering light pulsing like the echo of falling stars. United by the truth that it’s better to live with grace, individually unique, equality and strength. Together in blissful harmony. The people honor and cherish the sacredness within.
Surrounded by a dizzying array of creatures great and small, hopping, flying, climbing, feathers to burrowing claws. The people honor and cherish the sacredness within.
From rugged stony mountains, to luminous blue seas, simmering deserts and ancient forests, all wonders in between. The people honor and cherish the sacredness within.
Seasons slowly turn, embracing the cycle of change. Every day a celebration, for the beauty they all share. Each night wrapped in holiness, for lessons they had learned. Thankful to remember, that separation has its cost. The people honor and cherish the sacredness within.
For long ago it was told, of a time wrought with despair. Their numbers and cares immense, they forgot why they were there on this spinning dancing earth, and began to grow apart. Fighting for whose light was brightest, each thinking theirs was best. They misused their fellow creatures, breaking cautious trust. They polluted healing waters and sundered what was grown. Depleting abundant soils, their refuge and their home.
The shimmering light within, like the pulsing echo of falling stars began to fade away, until it was nothing more than a tiny flickering spark. Separated, no longer could they see the light in the heart of others, nor feel from earthly creatures amidst the diminishing land. Instead they lied and blamed, for what they themselves had lost. Hidden behind deepening shadows, a tiny flickering spark, all but snuffed away.
The people forgot and searched to fill their growing need. In groups they stood together, formed by their own loss. Divisive was their shield, and hopelessness their sword. Using fear to create more power, they gave up their own way. Fighting to remain the same, and only darkness reigned.
Until one night it happened, the end was almost near. Everything was ruined, and the world was ruled by fear. The sky filled up with light, from each and every star, the brightness overflowing, and shown upon the earth. The brilliance of their warmth, made the people stop and stare, and suddenly they remembered what they knew since time began. They were all in this together, apart they could no longer stand.
Outside the winds are blowing wildly, the air is warm and filled with an unmistakable energy I haven’t felt in a long while. The night is getting late, I am tired from my long day of responsibilities. I have walked this road many times, and it is a good one. Routines can feel safe. They keep us on track to accomplish daily activities, secure in the knowledge life will continue to move in the same familiar direction. Our minds and realities become sleepy in the commonness of predictable choices. Many times we hesitate, unwilling or unable, to seek out the less traveled paths offered along the way. Avoiding change, following the same steps as those before us, happy to stay where we are. One day waking up to the fact that nothing is further from the truth, for life is all about something being made different. Our bodies continue to reinvent themselves, and unless we choose to be stagnant in thoughts and feelings, these too are in constant fluctuation. Change is a blessing and not always a welcome one. No matter how we understand it to be, transformation is undeniably woven into the fabric of our being, deeply rooted in all of Creation. Clearly written for us to see in the phasing of the moon, day into night, the turning of seasons one to another. Changes are everywhere, in everything, our very existence relies upon this truth. To be alive is to transform. The winds are blowing wildly and I am ready In Peace ~ Raven
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