Category Archives: inspirational

Picking Up Sticks

One of my favorite things to do is to go out in my backyard and pick up the small twigs and branches that fall from the canopy of trees surrounding my home. There is something very calming about the rhythmic movement of wandering barefoot through the messy grass – – -bending, grasping, collecting in my hands – – – each sacred stick.

Much of my life is spent reflecting on the experiences and connections I have created, and the spiritual lessons that I gain from each one. Often, I will try to step out of myself and become an observer so that my perspective is less reactive and personal. In this space of in-between, I am able to connect with the true knowing of who I am, a Soul Being of Light, who is very grateful to enjoy the physicalness of this earthly world.

In this way I am able to understand the steps that I need to take in order to continue my life of Walking in Beauty. If I choose to become unaware of the ways in which I am becoming, inevitably, I will be diverted from all that I want to be.

This is my belief, and I try to be mindful.

The rest of my consciousness is mostly tied up in planning the daily actions necessary for me to care and provide for my family. With all of this high-powered awareness, sometimes I crave the absolute nothingness of just being.

This is why picking up sticks is so quieting for me. There’s something freeing about inhabiting my body fully, with my senses completely engaged, and my mind drifting with the clouds in the sky. I find this time soothing to my nervous system while also being gently pleasurable.

The touch of the ground on the soles of my feet, the songs of life from the birds fluttering overhead. A grasshopper makes itself known in the tall grass, and a butterfly sips from a bright flower.

A little toad hops out from the garden clover hidden from my eyes until suddenly, here we are together, sharing in this sacred moment of just being.

My Dear friend, Little Toad
Home of Little Toad

I have been practicing the art of stick removal for many years. As you can see, I have accumulated a lovely stack of offerings that I have placed next to our outdoor fire ring. It’s an ongoing artistic collection that shifts and changes with every season.

I have no intention of creating a yard of perfection as I prefer the natural beauty of untethered nature. My main goal is to create a safe space for our beloved dog Skadi so that she can run from end to end on her daily barking patrols, and to also create a peaceful woodland-lake vibe.

Picking up sticks is the least I can do for my beautiful sanctuary.

The bigger branches are carefully added to the archway of my garden.

Everyone needs a magic portal to get from here to there, and then back again.

Each of these branches come from one of the guardian trees around us, thus making my garden archway more than just what it appears.

Sometimes, especially at night, I will stand directly underneath the highest point of the arc so that I am neither here nor there, but somewhere in between. I gaze quietly out into the nothingness around me, and smile.

As a Soul Being of Light – Picker Upper of Sticks – this is one of my favorite places to be.

Thank you for reading my blog. I would love to know how you find tranquility in nature, please share if you are so inclined.

In Peaceful Mindfulness, Raven

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Just Because I’m Old

I write this blog in honor of my most cherished Mamacita, who will be 84 years beautiful this August 2023.

I write it based on 20 years plus experience of being a homemaker-companion for the elderly. I write this for all of you who may be getting up in years, and for the beloved people in your life who are now considered to be an elder.

Lastly, I write this as a gift to my future self.

Visiting my family in California, 2018

Growing old is an inevitable part of life and depending on culture, society, experiences, upbringing, and personal values, we will face these grand milestones for ourselves, and for those we encounter, in a way that reflects our own unique expression and understanding.

Making friends at a Powwow

I have spent a lot of time with the older community over the years as a caregiver. My job was to help people live in their homes independently by assisting them with some of the things they were no longer able to do on their own, such as transportation, grocery shopping, errands, bathing, meal preparation, and housework.

Most of the people I assisted suffered with health issues, and several struggled with different stages of dementia from mild to severe. Almost all of them were lonely. Because of the nature of my job, it was easy to become close. Many of my clients became very dear to me, and I will always think of them with great fondness.

My dear friend Geri; sitting on my deck, meeting Skadi, and at the flea market! We always had fun together, and I loved her very much. I was blessed to be with her as she took her last breath. I have many sweet memories of our time together.
My mama, not too long ago when she was still driving.

Despite obvious job expectations, I quickly learned there was an unwritten and highly valuable desire my elder friends all shared in common. This basic human need was their emotional quest to be recognized as someone who still maintained sovereignty over themselves, regardless of their age, condition, abilities, hearing, or cognitive challenges.

Sovereignty: meaning dominion over one’s self – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Perfection is not a requirement.

In the presence of an elder, understand they have lived a wealth of stories, filled with triumphs, heartaches, incredible loss, love, humor, grief, adventures, and countless other happenings that we can’t even imagine.

My mother’s older sister Yolanda, who departed our world in her 30’s, I know she misses her every day.

For someone to have made it to a certain age means they have encountered numerous obstacles and miracles. Their physical self has done its best to survive a multitude of seasons, and most assuredly their bodies have acquired the scars and discomfort to show for it.

My mother’s parents, Frances & Luis, my dear Nana and Tata

Isn’t it true for most everyone, that as we grow in years, though our countenance, bodies, and ways-of-being continually transform, inside we are each the unique person we have always been. Our inner self remains the same.

me, my first day of life

It’s a crazy juxtaposition this duality of being a human.

My mother and her first love Jessie. They reconnected as elders; their relationship was very special. He departed our world several years ago, and I know she misses him often.

Just because I’m old; I no longer move the same and may be slower than you like. Perhaps I’m not as focused as you wish for me to be.

Just because I’m old, I won’t always hear you, and my vision is not as clear. You may have to repeat yourself, but please do so with respect. I can’t help the way I am.

Just because I’m old, I may tell you the same story over and over again, and perhaps I’ve forgotten certain other ones you wish for me to know.

Just because I’m old, understand my heart aches with loss for people, places, and the things I can no longer do.

Just because I’m old, time for me feels different, and often the days and nights seem to all morph into one. I am familiar with what it’s like to watch my life slowly simmer.

Just because I’m old. I’m no longer as busy, and my priorities may look different than how they used to be.

Just because I’m old, I have withstood the pain of time from missing all those I have lost and know intimately the sorrow of having to say goodbye.

Just because I’m old, I will try my best to stay strong, to celebrate the joys and happy times. I still need to feel loved and accepted, just the way I am.

Just because I’m old, please be patient, and treat me with kindness. Remember to cherish my wisdom for I will not always be here.

Just because I’m old, know I have traveled many roads, and am weary from all I have endured. Realize my thoughts and memories can often feel unclear.

Just because I’m old, know I am a Sovereign Being of Light. However tattered and torn I may appear; my essence and beauty remain.

Please don’t think of me as different, just because I’m old.

I saw this photo at a record shop, I don’t know who she is, but I love her vibe!

Thankfully my mother is in mostly good health, although she does suffer from some serious ailments at times. She is no longer driving, mostly because the roads aren’t as easy to navigate as they once were. All of those crazy California drivers! Her mind and wit are as sharp as always, and she still has many things she enjoys such as gardening, decorating, collecting crystals and treasures, reading, and watching her kdramas. She has fallen several times, thankfully nothing too serious. I try not to scold her for climbing on stepping stools, and for being so independent that she doesn’t ask for help. I tell her it’s not scolding, just encouraging! She could use a hearing aid or two……otherwise she is doing well. We had a long talk the other day which initiated some of this writing. I was able to discuss the idea of grieving as one gets older ( I took a special class on this) so I think it helped her to understand some of her emotional challenges. My mother has always been my dearest soul mate, and I miss her all of the time. Hopefully I can go visit with her soon.

Her 80th birthday!

I love you my sweet mama and count every day as a blessing that you are still here.

Look how cute she is!

In Timeless Peace,

Raven

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In The Darkness

I like to go outside at night before I drift off to sleep. I cherish the ritual of releasing the happenings of my day by looking out into the vast sky. It helps me to keep things in perspective, and also reminds me of the miracle of our existence.

It’s usually pretty late when I finally step outside, which makes it extra quiet, and in the darkness, nothing remains the same.

twilight long ago

Last night, the moon was gentle bright – – low behind the trees.

I know every inch of my yard since I have lived here for over 30 years.

First, there is a well-worn path, made from the running back and forth of our beloved dogs beginning from before my babies were even born. Their names were Wolfie, then Nico, Timber and Aragon, and now our sweet Skadi.

Over the years my children and I naturally followed in the same hollow furrow which led from our front door… all the way around the deck…and into the back.

As we grew older the path became dirt – – smoothed by our footsteps. Often, I traverse it in the dark, each little divot memorized, the earth welcoming under my feet.

In one corner of our yard stands a Curly Willow tree. There is a large open area between her low hanging branches that seems to beckon me in for a hug, and so I cooperate, my back against her trunk.

I rest, leaning into her comforting strength, and look up through her branches.

My son Kai and I created a Woodland Zen Garden in the shady emptiness of our yard this Spring. It’s a work in progress but we have transformed a huge area into a retreat of beauty and peace.

Skadi keeping us company, she loves to lay in the fresh dirt

We have placed steppingstones and several large white rocks around its wandering borders. This helps me to see their glow at night as the moon shines upon them like beacons of light so I don’t stumble.

In the darkness I meander, my steps careful and silent. Sometimes I hear the Owls call to each other from across the trees. The wildlife around our lake serenades me as I place each foot mindfully.

Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

There have been a few times where the inky blackness and a sudden strange noise send me scurrying back into the house. My imagination summoning up every scary story I’ve ever heard. More often though, I’m able to remain calm, safe in my familiarity.

Each season has its challenges, especially winter when I’m forced to limit how far I go into the darkness. The weather, the cycles of the moon, and the brightness of the stars, all influence my time spent outdoors.

I learn a lot from my escapades.

Jacob’s Ladder

The circle of life continues, with or without us. The coming of night is an inevitable truth, and sometimes it happens before we are ready to let go of our day.

We can’t always see clearly what is right there before us, and even in the expected surroundings we may not always know what lies ahead.

It’s a fine balance to breathe in the uncertainty while embracing the comfort of the same.

The rocks, trees, and animal kingdom are our steadfast companions.

Flowers still bloom – – even in the darkness.

Columbine

In Midnight Zen Peace,

Raven

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Hippie Dippy Trippy

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Time is like the endless sea
wave after wave it follows me 
nowhere to run nowhere to hide 
the darkness shows what's deep inside
the mystery of life is hard to see 
but love is real for you and me 
so close the door and leave your mind 
to dreams you've left so far behind

I wrote this poem in my teens, which was many moons ago. It’s interesting to see that I haven’t changed much since my first days of wandering onto this path of being a bohemian mystic.

Despite several decades, this poem still reflects an expression of myself that will forever be barefoot on a sandy beach looking up at the starry night sky.

Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

I am a child of the sixties and seventies, I grew up listening to Janis Joplin, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix and the Doors. Words like; vibe, cosmic, hippie-dippy-trippy, universal, energy, truth, far out, Peace -Love & Bobby Sherman, are part of my daily vocabulary.

The ‘Make Love not War’ culture in which I was born, influenced me greatly and I totally consider myself to be a Flower Child.

The older I get, the more flowery I become!

I always thought I would grow up to be a refined, financially successful, steady career, married, proper retirement-kind of person. Despite my best efforts, I am nothing at all like I imagined.

Even though I have had so many life-breaking-creating-healing experiences since my early days of hugging trees, I am still here with bells on and feathers in my hair.

My path has always been one of healing. Ever since I was a little girl entering grade school, I have been in search of ways to find peace within myself. My emotional trauma has led me on an intricate journey to this beautiful new existence of being a spiritual healer.

My first day of kindergarten

It turns out conformity has never been my thing, and though I gave it my best shot, I am learning there are different ways to create success in this lifetime.

As a free-spirited raven I am building a nest based on my path of healing from a society that often seeks value in ways that deny the importance of Walking in Beauty.

My layers are slowly being shed and I am reborn into being the me I have always enjoyed the most, and that is the one where I get to make friends with the crows, be my artistic self, and connect with people using all of my favorite vocabulary words, like;

Spirit, Clarity, Hope, Beauty, and Love.

It’s a bit of a relief to shake from my petals the residue of learned expectations, so that I may embrace new ways of being that are more conducive to a life that is in alignment with all that I hold dear.

It feels good to live as my authentic self, even though some may think of me as a Trippy Dippy Hippie.

I think it’s hugely important during this time of cultural upheaval that we are experiencing worldwide to choose your own voice.

As part of the universal collective, I believe we can shift our energy into building a world that respects our earth and also our fellow humans, animals & other beings. The question we must all answer and then act upon is,

“What do you believe in?”

As a person who sees thing from a place of spirit, there are really only two choices.

Either you believe in uplifting hate or you believe in uplifting love. You will know the answer by the actions you take, the words you speak, and the kinds of choices you make and support.

Decide daily what it is that you are inspiring in this world.

Simple as that.

I am not quite sure where this path of mine is taking me, certainly not anywhere with a pension, but it does suit my vibe and feels cosmically right in my soul, so onward I must go.

In the light of a groovy crescent moon,

Photo by SevenStorm JUHASZIMRUS on Pexels.com

Be Love, Raven

P.S I saw this today and wanted to share it with you

Ms. Tina Turner. 1939-2023.

“When I started as a solo artist, I was a female Black singer in my forties with no money and few prospects for gigs. Still, I kept a ‘never give up’ spirit. Part of my spiritual practice is to change poison into medicine, to transform roadblocks through positivity. The force of my positivity pushed the discriminatory ‘ isms’ standing in my way. We all have it within our power to make decisions and take actions that elevate us. Every day, we express who we are, and who we wish to become, through our thoughts, words and deeds. Choose the positive path in everything you do. Spread positivity and kindness. That’s the way.

My legacy is that I stayed on course, from beginning to the end. Because I believed in something inside of me.” –

Ms. Tina Turner. 1939-2023.

Rest In Peace ✨

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Alchemy

In pieces I fall, only to remain whole.

The sky has been extra beautiful lately. I think it’s because of the autumn cold, it makes everything clear and bright. I can see so many stars in the canvas over my house, especially now that the leaves have fallen, and I can gaze through the once covered branches.

In my wholeness, I am many.

I used to think I was one, but then I realized how fragmented I really am. I am the sum of my stories, each separate, complete on their own, yet somehow all blending into me. I used to think I was one, but instead I am a multitude. I am alchemy.

In my search for peace, I sought to remove the slivers of tales that still pierce my inner core. Only to find they have embedded in my dreams, with no hint of beginning or end, forever to reside in the velvet beauty of me. I am forced to live with the damage they have wrought, to allow my flesh to heal over sharpened tips. Like a rose, fragrant and divine, I am a gift, protected by my thorns.

In the light of day, I search the open sky, peering through the branches, I see nothing but bits of clouds floating by. The universe is filled with a multitude of stars, fragments of holy fire, all coming together to create the wholeness of celestial delight. Constellations and planets, dancing through infinity, each separate, complete on their own, yet somehow blending into one.

The universe and I,

In pieces we may fall,

only to remain whole.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Alchemy: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/alchemy

A form of chemistry and speculative philosophy practiced in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance and concerned principally with discovering methods for transmuting baser metals into gold and with finding a universal solvent and an elixir of life.

any magical power or process of transmuting a common substance, usually of little value, into a substance of great value.

any seemingly magical process of transforming or combining elements into something new

In Alchemistic Peace,

May we Dance,

Always, Raven

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Butterfly Dance

Today is my day to wander and roam,

today is my day I choose to stay home.

Barefoot, I walk in my house and my yard,

Enjoying my solitude,

with my dog as my guard.

The minutes tick by

in a sweet melting swirl,

The sun soon to set

so night may unfurl

That’s all the rhyming I have in me right now:)

It’s been a while since I sat down to write. I’m not quite sure why it’s been this long. I often consider writing about many topics or significant events in my life but in the actual moments I haven’t the energy, and later, much later, when I edit those thoughts in my head, there aren’t very many words left to type out.

Today is my day of solitude, although that includes my great big dog Skadi, so I am not completely alone. I love the peace and quiet to check out and just be Zen. It’s a beautiful day, I am writing this on my deck as we speak, feet up on a chair, a soft summer breeze, and a sleeping pup by my side. I already watered my house plants and flower gardens, and ummmm that’s really about it. I love doing nothing with bits of ‘maybe some-things’ thrown in. I find it especially healing.

This kind of day makes me think of the song, “Watching the Wheels” by John Lennon, I never heard this particular acoustic version before. The tempo is a little fast paced, but has a certain jaunty realness that makes me feel happy.

I have been pushed to be an adult more than usual these past months, but to counteract the seriousness of responsibilities, I have also focused on enjoying the beauty of my life, and the gentle space in which I dwell, both physically and spiritually.

On my walk I saw this bird sitting peacefully looking out over the lake. He didn’t even move as I shared this quiet moment with him. Kindred Spirits!

To grow my business of reading Tarot cards, which besides making beautiful art, is one of my favorite things to do, I have been posting daily collective energy readings on Tik-Tok, and Instagram. I promised myself I would do this every day for one month to see what happens. I would love to earn my income by being an artist and reading cards, such a lovely bohemian way of life that suits me perfectly.

I make art journals to sell at Renaissance Faires & other Festivals

Today’s reading was about loss, transformation and healing, you know, just the basics of life as usual. My intention when I read cards is to help people to connect with their own inner wisdom and guidance system, and always meant to inspire.

The oracle card for today had a butterfly on it, and represented balance and transformation. The meaning of the cards felt very clear to me this morning in a distant kind of way, but it wasn’t until later this afternoon when I meandered my way outside for the hundredth time to gaze at my flowers, that I personally ‘felt’ the message of the reading and how it applied to my own feelings of loss and grief. Eventually I was able to move through my sadness, and back over to the other side where I found my smile again, so all’s well that ends well, but what makes this moment so wonderful was the dancing butterfly that suddenly appeared before my eyes, reminding me of the very same card in today’s reading.

Sometimes synchronicity seems obvious only to you, which I think is how it’s supposed to be, otherwise where would the magic live, if it can’t be found in the every-day-ness.

@ravenightsong

Beautiful butterfly dance to go with this morning’s collective energy reading. #synchronicity #butterfly #collectivenergyreading

♬ Chopin Nocturne No. 2 Piano Mono – moshimo sound design

As I stood there marveling, and filming away, I thought this would be the very thing to break my writing sabbatical and share my video of *Her Winged Majesty* with all of my World Friends.

I have missed connecting with everyone, and I hope that life has been treating you well. Please take care of yourselves, and remember to have balance by also focusing on the beauty of life.

I visit this tree each day on my walk. I found this cracked egg shell and gave it to my tree-friend as a gift. It has been there now for several weeks.

Be Kind,

Be Considerate,

Be Love.

In Dancing Butterfly Peace,

Raven

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Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Our lives are filled with goodbyes, some temporary and many forever. Eventually they will all enter the forever-and-ever category, but that’s a whole other blog. For now, I am going to write about the day to day ones we face with our family and friends.

Yesterday my son Deven and his delightful girlfriend Sophia, who I have become very close with, left for Maine to live in a beautiful cabin on the ocean for four months. It’s gorgeous, wild and free, and one of the most magical places I have ever visited. I am of course very happy for their temporary escape from the travails of life as we know it, and plan on staying with them for a couple of weeks sometime in the future. And just for your information, I have been officially invited as they adore my company, so I am not following them like some clingy mother ….

I have had to say goodbye numerous times to my boys over the last few years, as they left for college, or gone off on their adventures, and no matter how I emotionally prepare, it is always difficult. I fully see the big picture of how wonderful these opportunities are, and how good it is for them to be independent, to grow and be on their own, but that doesn’t take away the grief I feel every time as I watch them drive off into the sunset.

When I was a young girl, my mother took my siblings and I up to the San Francisco area to visit my uncle and his family. For some reason, she needed to leave us there for about a week, I am not sure of the details, but either way I was fine with her decision and happy to have this time with my cousins. At least, I thought so. It was not until later after saying our goodbyes in the driveway, when I saw her back up and head down the street, that I suddenly panicked my mother was leaving and I began running after her, my skinny little legs flying down the sidewalk, waving my arms and yelling for her to stop and take me with her. She had no idea this was happening and continued driving away until she was nothing but a tiny little speck in the distance. I gave up and stood there crying, then reluctantly turned around and walked back to the house. I ended up having a nice time, but will never ever forget the desperation and pain I felt in that moment as she left.

Flash forward to yesterday as I stood in another driveway, hugging my son goodbye, cradling his beloved face in my hands, and kissing his cheek, knowing he was about to drive over 7 hours away, and be gone for a significant amount of time. Quietly acknowledging there was nothing I could do, or even wanted to do for that matter, to hold him back. The same little girl who will always be a part of me, no matter how old I grow, was already preparing for the inevitable moment when my loved ones would get in the car and disappear into the distance. Thankfully I held it together, and did not go running after them, which wouldn’t have been good for anyone, especially me, as the driveway was covered with snow and very slippery.

Nevertheless, grief is grief.

Today I feel much better knowing they have safely arrived, and am already receiving videos and photos of them filling their water bottles at the natural spring, and later of my son sitting by the cozy wood stove.

This morning through the power of technology I was able to hear and view the misty gray ocean whispering over the slippery rocks, and can happily smile seeing that they are surrounded by such beauty.

Over the years, I have unfortunately experienced many other forms of goodbyes. Some with friends who I thought would be forever, some with lovers who I trusted would never leave, and even a few unspoken goodbyes from my close family members, which seems unimaginable even now. All have not been so cut and dried as the bittersweet one of yesterday, but instead drawn out, wrenched apart, ripped away, or faded slowly and painfully, inch by inch until nothing remains. These are the goodbyes that change you in ways that can never fully be healed, and at the very best, patched up with sticky glue, frayed scraps of fabric and bits of knotted string.

Some goodbyes may turn out to be for the best but this can be hard to fathom in the moments of leaving, and even more difficult to unravel later on. Our significant relationships are uniquely bound by shared experiences, time spent together, and mixed gently with the possibilities of future hopes and dreams. These are then tightly woven to create a beautiful tapestry, impossible to tease apart into separate categories of good or bad, right or wrong, happy or sad. It’s only in the finished piece where we can fully see how sacred everything has been in its entirety.

Today is the last day of 2021, and I am sure I speak for many that this year has been filled with an abundance of trials and tribulations, both personal and worldly, along with the beauty and magic that continually runs through it all. I am grateful for so much, too many things to list, but I happily say goodbye to this year and welcome in the new.

For everyone who has experienced the forever-and-ever goodbyes, or the sorrows which are way too deep to mention, please know you are loved and supported by myself, and hopefully others who are more tangible. It is good to seek help if you need more; there are many programs and people in this world who foster a place of generosity of spirit and love. I believe with all my heart in the perseverance and hope of humanity, and perhaps even more importantly, I believe in the divinity that binds us all.

things haven’t changed much….important message in the beginning!

Love is not ended through goodbyes, no matter how it may feel. Love is eternal and everlasting.

Happy Beautiful New Year

In Peace ~ Raven

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Procrastination….

“Is the action of delaying or postponing something.” Oxford Languages

I am seriously procrastinating right now, especially as all day long I have been thinking about how stressful it is to procrastinate something when I know it has to be done. “Wouldn’t this make an interesting topic to write about,” I thought to myself as I meandered aimlessly and somewhat nervously through the daylight hours.

So here I am at 8:00 tonight, procrastinating by sharing my ill-gained wisdom from my procrastinating all day. I have a few serious things that need to be done or there will be big consequences, and last night I vowed to myself I would get started first thing this morning…

…12 Hours Later- “After I have breakfast,” I told myself… “Maybe tidy the living room… a few minutes of vacuuming would be great… the dishes are piling up… isn’t there wet laundry to dry… I really should take my daily walk before it gets dark… a quick little rest would do me good… just a few chapters of the book I am reading… I better make dinner soon…. I know, I can write a blog!”

It’s an endless nightmare that I could have avoided if only I had sat down calmly this morning and at least started something. In under fifteen minutes I could complete the one task that has been hanging over my head for weeks now, which has already been stressful, but will be made even more so, if I don’t fill out and send the required forms.

Hint: DOOM

The other project needs to be done by Thursday at the very latest. This will take significantly longer, but has the great potential to yield wonderful results in my life.

Either way, negative or positive, I can’t seem to begin.

I feel like I have been pressing the snooze button all day, but not getting any extra sleep.

Procrastination is a form of self-sabotage, and a symptom of depression and anxiety. It can also be something as simple as a misplaced belief that things are better accomplished when under pressure, poor time management, lack of self-discipline, or just plain avoidance issues. I seem to have all of the above.

It turns out I really don’t have very much advice to share, other than to be kind to yourself. Compassion for one’s imperfections is the best approach under these circumstances, why pile more stress onto an already upsetting situation. It is a form of self-love to take care of the things looming in your life that may cause further issues down the road, and hinder your ability to find serenity in the now.

I absolutely promise myself that I will take care of the easiest task tonight, before I go to bed, AND by a reasonable time. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will try again. There, simple as that!

In Procrastinating Peace, Raven

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Meaning

Every day I find myself looking beyond what is in front of me, deep beneath the surface, a smidge behind the obvious, and up over the above, all to find a greater sense of meaning.

I am unable to live a life with my heart and mind closed to the sacred. Despite simple reason, I experience everything through the lens of someone who has walked this earth before.

I understand the finite days and nights we each have to live. Filled with a divine blend of beauty and sorrow, the stories we become, despite how we intend them to be, are so much more than how they appear.

How can any of this possibly matter, as we while away the minutes into hours, if we forget who it is we really are. What is left when you remove the layers of your armor to the soul behind your smile.

I want to tell you there is more to this journey than just the struggles we endure. Perhaps if we close our eyes to what we think is real, maybe…just maybe, we will be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of eternity.

May We All Walk in Beauty ~ Raven

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Happy Birthday Tiana & My Dog Has Fleas

It’s early morning, my dog is snoring, it’s my daughter’s 20th birthday, all my kids are home, we are safe, we are loved, we are blessed with warmth (it’s 26 degrees outside), we have abundant good food, we have each other, we have this beautiful day to celebrate, and my dog has fleas.

I woke up too early today, and before I could retreat back into a peaceful slumber, my mind quickly filled with all of the above facts, along with a myriad of to-do lists, worries, possibilities, expectations, gratitude, and overwhelming emotions. It’s been eons since I wrote out-loud; I write in my head all the time, but I suddenly felt inspired to share, and so here I am.

Once long ago, I was a happily married stay-at-home mom. Every day I felt safe and secure. We were a home-schooling family, which meant for us that we followed our hearts and lived a fulfilling life of adventure, love, and joy. Years later, the reality of our story has turned out to be even more wonderful than I ever imagined.

Somewhere in the middle, my marriage fell apart, and so did any feelings of safety and security. Since then it has been a major struggle to arrive where I am today, but somehow, in part thanks to the generosity of people who love us, and my creative determination to walk my own path, we have thrived.

Through it all, my children have been my source of strength, my focus, and the reason I have been able to move forward. Our relationships with each other have grown beyond family ties and are based on mutual respect, devotion, companionship, and unconditional love. We are each other’s best friends forever.

We took these sweet photos last year on Tiana’s birthday

Now they are grown and each moving in different directions. I find myself at a lost for how my life will unfold. My son Deven reassures me that our lives are expanding rather than contracting, and as they move onward, it can only open us up to new relationships and new adventures. Already it has begun, and I do see the beauty of change, but still my heart quietly mourns for what will no longer be.

Me and my lovely daughter

Determined to live in the moment, today we are all home, together in our little house by the lake, and I am grateful beyond measure.

Soon a fire will be made, the tea kettle whistling, and the house will be filled with the sounds of my children’s voices and the constant rumbling of the washer and dryer as I work to wash every pillow, blanket, curtain, and piece of clothing that may-or-may-not be hiding any fleas or their future off-spring. After a lovely breakfast, I will break out my new high-powered vacuum cleaner I bought to remove the scourge that has entered my home and clean every inch of our dwelling. I have had dogs ever since I moved here to New England 30 years ago, and we have never had fleas. None of us are happy about this, especially Skadi.

Poor pup doesn’t understand why she no longer has the run of the house

Hopefully I can also find the time to make pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips, take my 3 mile walk, and maybe read a few chapters of my book.

Most importantly, I will remain present, express myself in a loving way, and be grateful for every moment that we can be together. Even if my dog is scratching next to me……

UPDATE: I actually wrote this blog yesterday morning on my daughter’s birthday before everyone got up, but just as I finished, she came into my room crying that she didn’t feel good. We ended up at the emergency hospital for most of the day while they tested her. Thankfully we were able to go home and she is currently on the mend. My poor sweetie, what a way to celebrate her special day. We managed to have a peaceful evening, and the only thing I was able to accomplish on my great to-do list was to take my much-needed walk around the lake. This all goes to show how quickly life can change, and how very precious each and every moment of time is that we share with our loved ones.

In Itchy, but Grateful Peace, Raven